Sunday 12th June - I may have failed the test, but things are different

I've been clearing my room out and came across an old journal. I used to keep a journal every year since I was in secondary school. They used to house my thoughts as well as the odd moment of creativeness.

I shouldn't be reading this one I found though. I should know better. And yet it's so compelling. It's like a test; how I react depends on whether I pass or fail.

There is some powerful stuff in here:

'Apathy is my middle name. I have no motivation, no care for anything in the world it's sad. I'm stuck in a vacuum, a time warp, a state similar to being in Purgatory where I must suffer. Suffer for being so stupid, so naive, so trusting. The pain of flagellation is like a whip to my heart. But what else can one do but suffer?'

Needless to say, I failed. That said, things are a bit different. My reaction was not a happy one, but there would have been a time in my life when I would have broken down in tears reading these words.

I'm not really sure why I've written this. Just rambling really. Best go off and finish tidying things.

1 comment:

  1. Who were you trusting in second grade that you felt stupid for trusting?