I've been clearing my room out and came across an old journal. I used to keep a journal every year since I was in secondary school. They used to house my thoughts as well as the odd moment of creativeness.
I shouldn't be reading this one I found though. I should know better. And yet it's so compelling. It's like a test; how I react depends on whether I pass or fail.
There is some powerful stuff in here:
'Apathy is my middle name. I have no motivation, no care for anything in the world it's sad. I'm stuck in a vacuum, a time warp, a state similar to being in Purgatory where I must suffer. Suffer for being so stupid, so naive, so trusting. The pain of flagellation is like a whip to my heart. But what else can one do but suffer?'
Needless to say, I failed. That said, things are a bit different. My reaction was not a happy one, but there would have been a time in my life when I would have broken down in tears reading these words.
I'm not really sure why I've written this. Just rambling really. Best go off and finish tidying things.
Who were you trusting in second grade that you felt stupid for trusting?
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