It really has been a while.
I've tried to upload some new posts but I've been finding it difficult to articulate myself, so much so that my blogging -amongst other things- has been affected.
I look back on my old posts and can see how much I enjoyed writing about my experiences. I wish I felt the same now. I wish I could just go back to that point when everything just seemed so much better, so much easier.
My philosophy's always been that things happen for a reason. This time though I'm really struggling to find a reason.
I've been reminiscing a lot lately, wondering whether I made the right choices, whether I should give up hope or keep on fighting. I've made mistakes and said and done things I shouldn't have. My excuse? I don't have one. I was stupid. Naive. Even saying 'I'm only human' isn't adequate enough, because at the end of the day I can't change what happened. I can only hope that it gets better, that I can find myself again.
I'll leave you with this. It's something I found whilst reminiscing. I painted it a few years ago and consider it to be my best work. Part of me wishes I had it back, but then I know I wouldn't appreciate it as much if I did. Plus, it's right where it belongs.