Saturday 19th May - Pondering

Do you ever get that feeling where you feel like you need to be doing something with your life? Like you are meant for something more than whatever it is you are doing now? Initially I was excited at the idea of finishing university. Now I have mixed feelings. Perhaps it's the constant rain we've had the last few days, or maybe it's because I've just applied for Jobseeker's Allowance. Whatever the reason is I can't shake off this persistent feeling of being unfulfilled. Don't get me wrong, I don't plan to spend these upcoming days wallowing in self-pity listening to "All By Myself" on repeat. I'm just ... in deep thought.

Simply put, I'm experiencing a bit of existential angst. I've never been sure of many things but at times like this, I'm not sure of anything. I question my "dreams," my actions - past and present - and most of all, I question myself. "Who are you?", "What do you want?", "Are you really free to decide what you want, or are you just a pawn predestined for a certain path?"

Yesterday I spent the afternoon sitting at my desk staring intently at the window, the drops of May racing each other to the bottom. I can't tell you exactly what I was thinking. Not because any of it was particularly personal, but because I can't really remember.

I don't know why I'm thinking what I'm thinking, or why a tear escapes from the corner of my eye for no apparent reason. It's like I've lost control of my thoughts and feelings.

Tuesday 15th May - Finished

So that's the end of my four years here up in Scotland. For any of you who are interested, here's a sequence shot of my soaking:

I will try and blog more often now that I am free from the bounds of my degree.

As to what I will write about, God only knows.

Monday 14th May - The End

Tomorrow is my last ever exam of my time at university. It is the only thing standing between me and graduation.

You all know how much I love this place, but if you didn't, here's a new documentary celebrating the 600th year anniversary of St Andrews, narrated by Sir Sean Connery.

Tuesday 1st May - May Dip

In order to keep this blog work and child friendly, I'll refrain from posting photos of people skinny dipping in the North Sea, or any of me looking like I've been cryogenically frozen these last couple of months. So, instead, here's a photo of the sunrise this morning.